From Temper Tantrums to Today

I've been lazy and I am sorry. To give the appropriate excuses, I was lazy the last couple nights, tonight I am actually doing homework. In order not to throw in the towel, or let myself take the opportunity in a couple weeks to say, "I haven't posted in a while, I'll just quit", I am going to put some pressure on myself. I am going to ask you all to please hold me accountable to keep going with this. I do enjoy it, and I absolutely cannot wait until I sit down and actually go through a book, or some type of topical study with you.

I suppose I should share some of my motivation for this blog, so that maybe when I seem to be losing steam, you can refer me back to this post to jog my memory of why I started this. Here's the short version:

1. I love God.
2. I love talking about God.
3. I love learning about God.
4. I love discussing God with friend.
5. I love bible studies with my friends.
6. I love sharing my God experiences with people.
   

Those six reasons are the reason why I want this blog to continue, and they are also why I decided to pursue a career in Christian ministry (at what capacity, I am not quite sure.). Since I sensed this attraction, this call to ministry, I have wanted to just dive into every single bible study, accountability group, etc. so that I could witness other people grow, and to see myself grow in the process. I hope and pray that this little devotional-type-blog will give you a little dose of your daily need for God. I hope that whatever God inspires me to write will be something that someone needs at some point in their life. So please, if you see something that sounds like it might not be directed toward you one day, but sense that maybe one of your friends, or someone looking at your screen over your shoulder does, feel free to share it with them or leave it up for them to see.

This is a little tangent, but relevant. I remember when James and I started going to this church around where we went to school, the pastor's sermons hit me every time. They always addressed something that I had been wondering about, struggling with, or talking about with someone previously. One Sunday, after several consecutive weeks of this, the sermon didn't strike me as it had before. I was actually pretty upset about it, and told James of it after the service. He basically told me that I was being selfish, and perhaps someone else in the congregation needed it that morning. Anyway, it wasn't as if I didn't hear anything worth hearing, or couldn't use to grow more.

Just wanted to share that with you. :)

Anyway, yesterday, God really spoke to me through this verse from Hebrews.

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11

My homepage for Firefox is the Daily Bible Verse from Christ Notes. When I opened my browser yesterday, I was beginning to stress about my class deadlines and making sure I got everything done in time. I was sending up quick prayers asking for the determination and ability to just focus on homework and get it all done.

God met me there. The first word I saw was discipline. To be able to focus on what you need to focus on definitely takes discipline and self-control--two things which can quite easily go hand-in-hand. Just the one word was God reminding me to grow in my capacity to manage my time correctly.

Widening my view of this verse, I read the whole thing. This is something all of us have experienced in our lives, in almost everything we do. Learning to walk, learning what is right and what is wrong, conditioning for a sport, training at your first job, physical therapy after an accident, all of it is tedious, annoying, frustrating, painful, and necessary. It is necessary in order to do things in the right way, heal and strengthen our bodies, carry out a task efficiently, and behave correctly. However, there is another reason that is not physical. It develops in us an appreciation for whatever we are disciplining ourselves for.

The first thing it reminded me of after the call for discipline, was temper tantrums and anger towards parents. Growing up, we sometimes throw temper tantrums, and sometimes scream "I HATE YOU!" at our parents when we are not getting something we want. Later, perhaps in high school, we've moved away from that stage and just get angry, or pout when something doesn't happen the way we wanted it to. However, after all that parental discipline is finished, and we are in the 'real world,' I am sure many of you learned that you deeply appreciated the earlier curfews, more stringent rules, and other things that were annoying to you previously. I know that I have.

So thank you, mom and dad. :) Thank you for everything I made you put up with! While it made me mad at the time, I can't tell you how much I appreciate and love that you cared enough about me and loved me enough to not give in to my ridiculousness.

I know that when I read this verse again someday, I am going to look at it from a completely different perspective. If you something in that verse struck you that I didn't see or mention, feel free to share!

Twilight, pizza, and friendship that lasts forever

Friendship is a wonderful thing. Being able to be there for someone, helping them in their time of need. Having someone to be there for you, to support you or be someone to lean on in times of trouble is a blessing, one that I am so thankful that God gave us.

I was able to spend time with one of my best friends today for an afternoon of basically nothing. We watched Twilight and New Moon (don't judge :) ), tried to do homework and plan for the coming year (we ended up online shopping), ordered pizza, and just chilled out, enjoyed each other's company. I am so blessed to have her as a friend.

Friendship is obviously something I value, although I will never be as good of a friend to others as I am able to be. I will always fall short in some way. For example, I am the worst person in the world at keeping in touch with people. I have an email in my inbox waiting for an answer, that I just have not sat down and attended to yet. Melissa--if you read this, I am sorry, and I will be replying as soon as I finish this post!

I have a personal relationship with Jesus, something that I didn't understand until I gave my life to him. I have always believed in God, but that's not the same as loving him. And even though I do love him now, I still saw God as a little more removed than my friends with me now. I pictured him as a friend who is away and I was keeping in touch with him through prayer. That was until I read this verse today:

"God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord." 1 Corinthians 1:9

A quick search at Dictionary.com told me that fellowship is defined as a friendly relationship, or a companionship. We are called to be the companions of Jesus. Who is my best friend if not a companion, someone with whom I am in a friendly relationship. Jesus is not someone with whom I have to keep in touch because he is away. He is here with me, with you, now, and he wants to have those movie days with you. He wants to just chill with you while you try and fail to complete homework.

Jesus is with you wherever you go, whatever you're doing. Be aware, feel the peace and contentment in his presence, in fellowship with him.

Romans 8:28

Oh today was a wonderful day. Church, family, and relaxing. What a great day. Despite the heat, and despite the clouds, God allowed for us to have a great time among family and reconnect with each other.

Today's sermon was great! It was basically exactly what I wanted to talk about last night, but couldn't find the words to express myself.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

My pastor's sermon was taken from Romans 8:28, which is below if you are unfamiliar with it.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to their purpose." (NIV)

The verse itself is comforting, though, my pastor noted that it can often be misinterpreted, misunderstood. A common belief, and one I realized I held today, is that sometimes bad things happen because God is testing you. They are done because God wants to build you up, make you stronger, make you lean on Him in the tough times.

But really, what kind of loving, compassionate, faithful, comforting Father would do that to His children?

Not GOD.

No, my pastor explained, we live in a world that is, thankfully, governed by the laws of nature. Gravity, one of his examples, is one of those many laws that are so often taken for granted. Sometimes, bad things just happen. Many times, they are the result of our own actions, our own mistakes.

He also brought emphasis to the fact that this verse says "...those who love God...," not just those who believe in God, quoting a well-known verse that basically says that even the demons believe in God. God works for those who love Him.

Oftentimes, it is the way we respond to these bad things that just happen that makes the distinction between those who just believe in God, and those who love him.

Definitely something I reflected upon today. Great start to this wonderful day!

P.S. Here is a link to a song that I have become obsessed with.

You Love Me Anyway, Sidewalk Prophets

prayers and praise

• For our pastors and leaders in church, that they will continue to lead, challenge and help us to grow in our faith, in our personal, loving relationship with Jesus Christ. Praise that they have answered God's call to do so.
• Prayers for all the family, friends, and friends of friends who find themselves in the hospital or in some way ill, that God will place His healing hand on them, on their situation. Prayers also that they will remember Him in this tough time.
• Prayers again for all those who have to work outside in this summer heat!
• Prayers for all those who might be lukewarm, that God might create in them a strong desire for Christ, a realization of what's missing.
  

Light in the Dark

I don't know if you noticed my lack of post for today. I apologize about that. Along with not blogging, I didn't run yesterday at all either. Nor did I run today. Hopefully I will pick that back up tomorrow night. Probably not tomorrow morning because of church! I'm excited for a Sunday blog though. I really like the sermons at my church, and I am really pumped to be able to share them here.

The last couple days, Twitter has been blowing up with news about Norway. I didn't take the initiative to actually look up what happened until tonight. It's terrible. In case you haven't heard or just haven't looked it up like me, here are a couple links so you can see what's happening.

Story 1

Story 2

Definitely be lifting up prayers for the victims, their families and friends, and all those affected by this tragedy.

Today instead of writing a long reflection about one specific verse, I kind of want to throw some verses out there that tell us a lot about God--His love, His faithfulness, His greatness, and His comfort. It's a nice reminder that God is in everything around us and everything that happens.

Lamentations 3:22-23

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (ESV)

Isaiah 66:13

"As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; you will be comforted in Jerusalem." (ESV)

Jeremiah 29:11

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'" (NIV)

Philippians 4:6-7

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (NIV)

These verses never fail to remind me to lean on God in hard times. They make me stop, be still, and think in the midst of everything that may be happening to remember that God is with me, will always support me, and loves me the way no human ever could.

I've attached the music video to "How He Loves" by the David Crowder Band. Enjoy and feel His love.

How He Loves, DCB

prayers and praise

• Prayers for those affected in the bombing and shooting in Norway. Help them not to lose sight of God and lean on Him in his difficult time. God has not and will not abandon them--help them to remember.
  
• Grandma is walking! God is working wonders and it leaves me just about speechless. Praise God for His faithfulness and love and the miracle that He is working for her.
• Praise God for the relief we are starting to feel in this heat wave. It stormed!! A little more rain and we might be back to the normal-level of sweltering heat!
• Praise God for the support systems He blessed us with in the form of friends, family, and church family.
• Praise God for the contract my dad heard about that got accepted for his work!
  

Harder than it sounds....

I ran this morning and tonight. It was ridiculously hot. Mommy and I, on our way to Ruby Tuesday (YUMMMM) tonight, passed one of those signs that tells you the temperature. It lied and said it was 100 degrees out. It should have said 200. 100 DEGREES?? Really??

KLOVE was talking about the heat wave saying that it was going all across the country. Laura Story tweeted today that St. Louis was around 100 degs. too, so I'll say I believe the nationwide aspect of it. However, Oak Harbor, Washington, is the exception. My dad was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and shorts, and his feet were COLD! Would it be wrong to say I was slightly jealous, as I felt everything stick to me, and sweat bead down my face while not moving? I do wish it was cooler, but I am glad that someone is experiencing it. I'll try to live through them.

I told mommy that God should put an ice cube (probably more accurately a glacier) in His mouth and blow on us. It would feel SO GOOD!

Back to KLOVE, they were having people call in and come up with better names for the heat wave to make it a bit more fun. Someone said Antifreeze. :) That was my favorite :)

And isn't it awesome how people bond over the weather? First, let me say, isn't that how people break the ice?

"It's a hot one out there today!"

Or on days UNLIKE today...

"It's a beautiful day out there today. Do you think so?"

The weather's great. Here's the best though. My mom and I were behind a couple walking into RT. The man said to the hostess, "Hell called, they want their weather back." It was absolutely hilarious. And the best part was that the hostess barely acknowledged it. How can you do that? Anyway, I didn't hear the first part at the time. All I heard was "...they want their weather back" and my mom laughed so I did too. She told me later and I really laughed.

Switching gears....:)
Today's bible verse is below:

"And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses." (Mark 11:25)

This was hard for me to swallow this morning. I had never really thought about my forgiveness being dependent upon my forgiving others. In fact, my first thought was that maybe this version is wrong. Of course, then I listened to myself and realized that even in another version, or translation, it is going to have the same main point.

So in order for God to forgive me of my sins, I must first forgive others. In words, it is an easy task. However, everyone, and I mean everyone, whether they call it forgiveness or just saying "it's okay," has felt the difficulty and stress that the apology, or petition to forgive wells up. In that moment, the severity of whatever happened is called to mind once more. You are being shown again what that person did to you, what they made you feel, how they hurt you or betrayed you. Not only are you seeing it, but you feel it too. Your blood may boil in anger, or your cheeks might flush in embarrassment. Still the question remains.

"Can you forgive me?"

Now, are you going to give the devil his reward? Because what is that sudden onslaught of memories, if not the devil making his move. He doesn't care about you. He doesn't want you to have the peace of mind and sense of closure that forgiveness offers. He wants you to slip and go against the Word of God.

He wants you to say, "I'm sorry, I just think I need more time."
For what? How much longer do you want to put yourself through the misery of broken, complicated friendships? How much longer to you want to question the loyalty or the 'sides' of your remaining friends? How much longer do you want to torture yourself thinking of the possible things that could have happened, or running through the images of what you know did? How much more time do you think you have? Are you sure you have enough?

He wants you to say, "Let's just forget about it and move on."
I can't count on my two hands and two feet how many times that has worked for me, and it's not because I have had so many successes with this line. It's because I have too many fingers, and too many toes. These words are not enough, and Satan knows it. We are not capable of driving these feelings of hurt, embarrassment and betrayal out on our own. We do not, in our human strength have enough power. At the first possible sign of another act of betrayal, all of those feelings will come back. And they will come back double. Can you handle that?

Getting hurt, betrayed, humiliated, slighted, attacked. It's going to happen--we're going to do it to other people too. God didn't tell us that with faith, we would begin to live an easy, unobstructed life. In fact, he promised that we would have trouble. (Look at John 16:33) We are not called to easy lives--we're called to live a life that brings God glory in everything that we do. A lot of times, this means that we have to lean on His strength and faithfulness to bring us up on the higher ground out of the pit of grudges.

So when you're hit with the Mack truck of Mack trucks of memories of the painful event, take a deep breath, pray for God's strength, and say

"Yes, of course you're forgiven,"

and feel the peace that only God could give you. God is so good.

prayers and praise

• Praise that Grandma got herself up today. She is walking, and it is certainly a God a thing.
• Praise for air conditioning and the scientists who worked it out.
• Prayers that despite the heat, that we will continue to see God's creation as the wonderful, awesome thing that it is.
• Prayers for everyone working outside tomorrow as the heat wave continues to beat down. Prayers also that it might soon break.
• Prayers for those who may be suffering the hurt of a grudge, that they might see the uselessness of it and turn to God to help them find relief.
• Praise for the faithfulness and greatness of God that He gives us the strength to overcome these obstacles. Praise also for the example of how to live and deal that He gave to us in the form of Jesus Christ. Praise for His love.

Sarah 3 Running 0

I got up and ran today! :) Score #2 for me, none for running. I ended up wogging for the most part though. I ran down to South Church Street, and then walked all the way back home. So overall, I'll call that a 2.2 mile wog.

It was definitely harder today than it was last night, though. I was overly concerned about what the people driving the cars that were passing me would think that because I was walking that I got too tired, or wimped out or something. I didn't lean on God as much today for the strength to run as I did last night. That is definitely going to change tonight, if I run. I was thinking today how sore I would be if I ran twice a day. Then I was thinking of the inconvenience it would be to have to shower each time especially with the ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE HUMIDITY! Gosh, it was bad today.

So I will probably run tomorrow night. I liked listening to the bugs and running with Gemma. There's too many cars in the daytime for her to run with me.

Switching gears...

I am SO MAD that my creativity class required us to get twi

...DINNER BREAK...

__________________________________________tter accounts. It's SO addicting! I love that it doesn't take that long too. Everyone writes in 140 characters or less. Short and sweet and too the point. It's great. :) I'm sure my six followers (mostly from class) really love my recent explosion of tweets.

I downloaded an app on my phone that has a daily bible verse, daily reading plan, and a whole bunch of devotionals to choose from. It's definitely a great resource. I started the reading plan after blogging last night. Probably better from now on to do it close to first thing in the morning. I'm going to have to re-read it tomorrow and start again--I was nodding off last night.

I really enjoyed today's verse though.

"Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains in him." (John 3:36 NIV)

The emphasis on obedience is really what got me here. I'm trying to think of the right words to use to explain why that struck me. Jesus is the only way to eternal life with him in heaven. Believing that he died on the cross for my sins, having faith that he covered the death wage required for those sins, and accepting the grace offered by God as a result, is the way to salvation. Good works will not earn salvation.

I think in order to avoid confusion, obedience oftentimes falls on the wayside. Speaking of obedience and doing as Jesus did is often taken as doing good works outside of faith. Outside of belief and devotion. However, if the light of Christ resides in you, then that light will come out. It'll come out in the form of good works, in the form of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, via obedience to what the Lord is calling you to do.

Of course, good works/deeds can be and are done all the time by non-believers. However, answering the call to do those works, obeying the Word that God gave us is a direct result of having faith and trust in Jesus Christ.

It was a nice reminder this morning reading that. And the thing is, obedience isn't always a conscious thing, it's why sometimes it isn't stressed. If you're constantly walking with God and studying His Word, and talking to Him, obeying is like breathing. Of course, sometimes it will be harder than others, but the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God, gives you the strength, will, and determination to take those hard steps that the Lord is asking you to take. He knows what the end game is--He has the plan, the best plan that we can't even fathom. We just have to trust him.

We just have to have faith.

James, Gemma, and I ran tonight. (S3 R0) It was good. :) And I guess I'll run in the morning too. :) I'll let you know.

prayers and praise

• Praise that Grandma is taking recovery by a storm! She is sitting up and walked a bit today! Less than 24 hours after her surgery. God is good! Prayers still for her continued healing.
  
• Praise that this takes some stress off of our family, but still, prayers for their continued strength in helping Grandma get better.
• Prayers for Kelly in Richmond--that her class is everything she hoped it would be and that she is still sane. I expect that it is pretty fast-paced being only two weeks long.
  
• Prayers for James and Isaac, and everyone outside tomorrow--there is a severe heat advisory. Strength to counter it!
• Praise for car insurance. :D
  

Talking Too Fast

I've felt a need to write lately. Unfortunately, with classes, I can't afford to have hand cramps. Typing, then seemed the best option.

I'm sharing this on my Twitter, and Facebook, but I'm not exactly sure how many people this is going to reach. But if you're reading this, thank you. Please ignore the inevitable grammar and spelling errors I am sure I'll make. [Thanks again!]

Why am I blogging? Well I can't journal. This isn't me dismissing some untried option--I literally can't. I love journals though, I love the idea of having bookshelves of all these journals to come back to when I'm older and read about everything that was happening now. But if something isn't working, try something else, right? So I'm blogging.

I'm not sure which direction I want to go in for this. I want to write down everything that happens everyday, but I know that eventually you'll get posts like the following:

"Today I woke up. Went downstairs. Skipped breakfast & ate an early lunch. Watched Say Yes to the Dress. Finished the book I started yesterday. Had dinner with James. Am going to bed, can't think of anything else."

So I don't think that that is going to be the main thing.

I want to share the GOD things that happen in my life! I want to share my life with you so you can see, hear, read the incredible way my heart has changed as a result of His grace.

I'll start with what happened today.

I realized that I was trying to be like one of the characters in the Christian fiction book I was reading rather than following the example of Jesus Christ. I found that I wasn't measuring up to her at all--I wasn't as strong of a Christian, or my relationships weren't as meaningful, or I didn't shine like she did. I decided to go for a run so that my Mom didn't have to walk Gemma tonight. [A HUGE feat--I HATE running.] I ran a mile without stopping. Along the way, I prayed. I LOVED it.

I hate running by myself, I LOVE running and talking to GOD. I found my center in Him again. My priorities are set straight.

I plan on running every morning and night starting tomorrow. I'll let you know how that goes.

prayers and praise:

• Grandma got out of her surgery about an hour ago, so now she'll be going into recovery. Praise that the surgery went well. Prayers for her strength during recovery, and comfort and perseverance to our family and her as she works up her strength again.
• Prayers for daddy while he is away, for his safety and comfort in this tough time.
  
• Praise that I get this quality time with my mom. It's been too long, and I've so enjoyed sharing what's going on with me with her, and growing together in God. I love you mommy!
  
• Susan's birthday today. Praise that she is in my life and continues everyday to inspire me to grow in God.
• Prayers for James and Isaac tomorrow in the heat of the day, that they will have strength to finish!